"We have a great new drug for you to try, it cures POTS and dysautonomia." --Doctor
"Really? You can't be serious." --Me
"And (dramatic pause), we figured out what was causing all your random food reactions, and you can now eat whatever you want." --Doctor
"This can't be real." --Me
"You will be walking, then running, and able to scuba dive and snowboard again. You'll be able to care for your kids, have wild nights out on the town (and indoors) with your husband, and you can eat out wherever you want." --Doctor
"Ummmm, ok - lets have it! I'll take it, when do I start???" --Me
I danced for joy and got up and walked to check out of the doctors office with my prescription in hand.
And then I woke up. I kid you not, I had this dream this week, and it was the best conversation I've ever had - with the exception of being proposed to and finding out I was having my kids.
I was so sad that morning, the dream was so vivid! I always am dreaming about myself doing fun normal things, as my old healthy self, but had never had one like that. It lets me know I am not defeated, even unconsciously, that I WILL be better one day, and they will eventually put all the pieces together and find something that gets us all back to functional.
Until then, I'll keep on dreaming and working in my own small ways to perpetuate finding that cure by hopefully spreading some awareness, even if it's from a bed on a computer.
"Dreams are the sparkles of hope, the things we make real, the lights of our minds, what we hope one day to feel. Fireflies from a jar that keep us burning bright, never to give up, fighting the fight."